It’s hard to be honest with myself, to stop denying how I feel about this. I’m fucking broken, and that’s all there is to it. I never sleep, but when I do, I have awful dreams involving you. And it’s always unpredictable how you’ll be from dream to dream. Sometimes, I find it reflective of all the things we ever went through. I’ve started drinking every day again, just to feel something…but it honestly just adds another nightmare to rest of the storm. The thing I feel the worst about is the fact that I could never be happy for you, for the path in life that you chose. I’ve always been frustrated, or upset, too selfish to just move on and let life carry us from the shore. I guess I should’ve been paying more attention, I guess I should’ve been happy for you, or tried to be. Maybe I should’ve been better at giving you a reason to smile, or maybe I should’ve just stayed asleep that night.
Oh, the mind and it’s troubles. I guess this is just another hard memory I’ll have to endure… Since, ya know, we never talk anymore.